


listening to fears

by TolkienGirl



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: 10 sentence fic, Gen, One Word Prompt Meme, a little window into Susan's heart and mind, no pairings except for a mention of Rabadash's crazy fascination, title is a quote from Prince Caspian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TolkienGirl/pseuds/TolkienGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan, in scattered moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	listening to fears

**Engaged**

“You must be firm; you know what people will say,” her sister warns, and Susan turns over Calormene diamonds, clear at the edge and darker at the heart, and admits to herself that beauty becomes a heavy burden to bear in the presence of men like Rabadash.

**Saint**

She is always the one to tell her brothers not to fight, because someone must keep up the family order, even when there is only half a family to be had.

**Sinner**

Aslan’s reproach splits her heart open, as it splits all hearts—but Susan is never quite sure if she put hers back together again.

**Vacation**

The summer at Professor Kirke’s might have been many things without Narnia, but the details of before and after are consumed instead; no one will remember the foxes, the river, or the long rooms filled with books (no one but Susan).

**Outcome**

“They cannot all be dead,” Susan says hoarsely to the mirror; as though she, with her love of logic, can force the cruel fact out of being by mere words.

**Replacement**

Her perfumes in Narnia were scented with petals that floated in amber liquid and never lost their sheen; her perfumes in England are bottled up in glass and printed with long-stemmed letters, but they intoxicate her all the same.

**Westbound**

America asks her a thousand questions, but they are new questions, and she need not explain a divided childhood at all.

**Smallest**

Susan does not think of herself as motherly, but maybe she should—she was the one who loved to push Lucy’s pram, the one who made them wear their coats in the Narnian winter (the one who could not save them).

**Revealing**

The dress is silk-smooth, tracing from shoulder to knee in one lean line, fit for a modern-day queen.

**Mistake**

“We were such _dear_ children,” Susan titters, and as always, she could almost believe her own laughter—if Lucy’s face did not, as always, twist with the same pain.


End file.
